Man seriously if you want a girl with no haram past or anything of this sort then please stop ruining the life of the girl you’re in a relationship with right now. Don’t make her past questionable for her future husband. Don’t use her. Don’t ruin her present. Let her bloom. Don’t steal her haya.
And if you say your girl is always willing to do such things then be a gentleman and ask her to stfu. Guide her to the right path instead of guiding her to the room. If you don’t love her then leave her. But do not do wrong to her.
You don’t want a wife like that, you don’t want a daughter like that then act like a good Muslim and keep yourself away from this bullshit. Kindly. You should not indulge in any haram act even if your girl begs for it. A girl willing to do so doesn’t make it any less haram for you too. So keep yourself on Deen. Keeping a firm control on your naffs is not a piece of cake but you gotta do it. For your sake. For your daughter’s sake because what goes around comes around. I know you would never want something bad to happen to any woman associated with you. So please for God’s sake stop this bullshit. I mean just think this way that you want a woman with no haram past. Exactly like that the other guy a girl’s gonna marry wants the same thing. You do wrong and leave her for someone else to find her precious enough to protect her. What if you get to marry a woman who has been wronged just like you wronged a woman out there? Are you gonna hit her for saying yes to him? Are you gonna leave her after being married for like months or years? Are you gonna accept her because you know you did the same to someone who’s with another guy going through the same scenario? So why destroy a random woman’s repute when you yourself want a pious woman? I mean if you’re committing such acts then be man enough to accept her in marriage. But if you want a pious woman because somehow you think you deserve a pious lady then be pious yourself because in Quran Allah openly says:
So bear it in mind. And recall it whenever you feel like doing wrong to the other person in this manner. If you feel like the girl’s not the one for you or makes you commit sins that even your zameer tells you aren’t right then keep your distance from her. That won’t make you selfish but Allah Subhanahu Wata’ala will send the girl you deserve at the right time. (Same is for the girl) Whoever is a threat to your deen or your imaan keep your distance from that person. The one who love you can never see you being put in blazing fire on the day of judgement because of the sins he made you commit.
So open your eyes. This world is an illusion. People aren’t always what they seem from the outside. Stay faithful but stay on deen. Love the person you want and make dua for them. Have patience and everything will work out.
And for the girls who’re willing to do such things: Kindly have a look at your parents. Did they raise you for this? Did they even think that their daughter’s gonna indulge in haram acts before marriage? I’ve seen girls losing shit over guys who’d never care to raise their hand even once to wipe tears off their face. But I’ve also seen guys who’re just used for money or gadgets. I mean like seriously girls? How the heck are you willing to get down so low? I don’t get girls’ point. They say men are bags of dirt. But oh please admit this, if you don’t allow the guys to do heck to you they’d never do it.
So if you’re into this please control your naffs. If you’re not into this then say Alhamdulillah because not being into such stuff is also a blessing. If you were into such stuff but have repented then May Allah accept your repentance. Ameen! Ask Allah to
Iam not a feminist. Iam just sick of this shit I get to hear daily about people around me. Like they are doing this doing that. Iam not a very pious lady myself. DO NOT think Iam a practicing Muslim. I often don’t offer my prayers and I do sins maybe on a daily basis. BUT Iam trying to be a better person, a better Muslim. I’ve repented. I ask for forgiveness every single day before going to sleep. So if even a single human come towards good because of me I would feel like I’ve fulfilled my purpose of being sent from above. Do whatever you want noboby can stop you. But do think about your family, your deen and your akhirah before everything else.
One last and most important thing!! Do not expose other’s secrets or dig up their past in front of someone else. Same would happen to you. Allah says “whoever covers up the fault of a Muslim, Allah will cover up his fault on the Day of Resurrection.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim). So try not to expose people around you if you want your own sins to be kept hidden. Do not bring them to the surface as Allah sees it all! You shall reap what you sow.