But..

What they don’t understand is that I smile BUT I’m not really happy

I laugh BUT I don’t know how to make peace with my chaos

I close my eyes BUT I don’t get any closer to myself

I pray BUT I am hopeless during every prayer

I sleep BUT my heart is never at rest. I think BUT my mind is too numb to realize anything

I stare at walls after midnight BUT I have no vision

I admire nature BUT I don’t find peace

I like plants BUT they suffocate me

I know what’s important in my life BUT I am unable to value it

I cry at times BUT I can’t figure out what’s wrong with me

I listen to music BUT it doesn’t provide me an escape route from reality

I smell flowers BUT they don’t calm my blood down

I see pigeons flying in flocks BUT they don’t give me freedom

I run BUT I don’t get away from my demons

I repent BUT the burden of my sins take away my light

I read books BUT they don’t get absorbed in my soul

I imagine what I want BUT it doesn’t let me move a step ahead from my needs

I speak BUT I don’t really know how to explain my within

I love wise words BUT even they sometimes fail to hold me together.


1:29 am

-M

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6 thoughts on “But..

  1. I just found out that even this breath I took is gone now and the next breath I am gonna take is not in my control as well. Just like that I found myself in your words around 10:29 pm, I once again felt calm in my nerves. Love ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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